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A Small Keen Wind


My wife, for six months now in sinister
Tones, has muttered incessantly about divorce,
And, since of the woman I'm fond, this dark chatter
Is painful as well as a bit monotonous.
Still, marvel one must, when she fishes out of that trunk,
Like rags, my shadier deeds for all to see
With 'This you did when sober, and that when drunk',
At the remarkable powers of memory.
For although I wriggle like mad when she whistles up
Some particularly nasty bit of handiwork,
The dirt… Continue

The Heaviest Element Known to Science

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; howev… Continue

Whilst is Wrongst
If you ever say 'whilst', kindly leave this blog.

'Whilst' is a complete waste of phonemes. It has no earthly point. It's like a wasp or an appendix or - I can't even bring myself to say this - a fish knife.

You don't see a big sea creature and say, 'Look! There's a whalest!' You don't look at your desk and exclaim, 'What a big pilest of paper work!' Do you? Well, do you? Doest thou?

The sort of people who use 'whilst' are the sort of people who put '(Mrs)' after their names… Continue

Yo Blair and Thatcher!!! The Barbarians are at the Gates or Boom and Bust is over!!!

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!!

The Gates of Perception have at last opened and that cruel tyrant, “Economic Reality”, is breaking in. As we watch the credit crunch unfold, we see that the Blair years from 1… Continue

Just a year after he courted controversy for turning up at a fancy dress party as a Nazi soldier complete with swastika on his shirt sleeve, Prince Harry is now back in the news. We know that Harry’s not the brightest star in the royal firmament. But even he should have realised tha… Continue